lördag 29 augusti 2009
When did you leave heaven?
Today I finally got the courage to go out and take some pictures. It felt so great, and for the first time in a really long time I felt so relaxed and it felt like I was high, but I'm pretty sure I didn't take anything. I felt good, calm. I lied in the grass and felt the wind touch my face, then I closed my eyes and just took a deep breath and I felt like I was the only person on earth...
chaque seconde
I wish life was a fairytale. I wish there were happy endings and that there was such thing as "they lived happily ever after".
It sucks to know that in reality there are no happy endings, fairies and that nobody lives happily ever after.
It sucks to know that in reality there are no happy endings, fairies and that nobody lives happily ever after.
Bipolar disorder
Happy, sad, angry, mad, mad, angry, sad, happy, happy, sad, angry, mad...
It's an evil circle that never ends and it's freakin pissin' me off. I'm not even sure if I have it but to be totally honest I really believe I do have bipolar disorder. It's very clear that my mood is impossible to predict since I can go from very happy to very sad within seconds. Blergh!
It's an evil circle that never ends and it's freakin pissin' me off. I'm not even sure if I have it but to be totally honest I really believe I do have bipolar disorder. It's very clear that my mood is impossible to predict since I can go from very happy to very sad within seconds. Blergh!
onsdag 26 augusti 2009
only teenagers are romantic people.
I'm tired of food, internet and people. I found out that reading a book and listening to good music and sleeping the whole afternoon, evening and night is so much better than sitting in front of a computer.
The Smiths, tea and books, looots of books, describes the past 2 weeks really well!
Goodbye, I'm off to neverland!
The Smiths, tea and books, looots of books, describes the past 2 weeks really well!
Goodbye, I'm off to neverland!
tisdag 18 augusti 2009
Oh my, where is my mind?
I'm soo tired, which is good I think. Cause today I'm gonna go to bed latest at 11 p.m. since school starts tomorrow. Hm, we'll see how this school year is gonna be...
Wish me luck.
G'nite
Wish me luck.
G'nite
lördag 15 augusti 2009
A means to an end
Can everyone please stop making me eat all the time? I'm not hungry, if I felt like eating I would. I'm not sick, I don't have eating disorders so just shut the fuck up. I eat when I feel like eating.
Sick bastards...
Sick bastards...
Heaven knows I'm miserable now
Sitting here, drinking strawberry tea, listening to The Smiths... Could it be better?
Well, it could actually, but I'm satisfied with things the way they are right now.
Well, it could actually, but I'm satisfied with things the way they are right now.
fredag 14 augusti 2009
Some natures catch no plagues
I envy those who are naive enough to belive that eternity exists. I wish I was so naive to believe in those things, but unfortunately life have learnt me that nothing is forever, even though we want it to be...
there is no happy here, there is no happy here
there is no happy here, there is no happy here
2:00 a.m.
Everything is literally fucked up.
I'm not over you, not at all to be honest. I miss you all the time, I wanna be with you every single second. I love you, I simply love you, well, simply... It's not that simple actually, once upon a time it was simple to love you, as simple as breathing, but nowadays it's just fucked up. Cause you're not mine.
When you were mine, my life was complete, I was complete and now that you're gone nothing works the way it should... Nothing is the way it used to, and you know me, you know how much I hate changes. Food tastes like shit, music doesn't sound the way it used to. Nothing seems to catch my attention, nothing seems to get into my head and make me stop thinking of you at least for a second. I react to everything and nothing, I walk but I feel like I can't feel my legs, I'm a cripple without you. I miss what we had, I miss you, I miss myself, I miss us.
You were the best thing about me, I know it sounds like a stupid cliche but that's exactly the way it was. You were the big part of me that was missing, and you made me feel complete but now that you're gone... What do I have left? Well, a broken heart and a river that I've filled up with my own tears.
Everybody keeps telling me to get over you, to stop thinking of you, to forget about your existence, and although I know they have a point, I can't. I can't stop loving you, not even for a second. You're in my thought wherever I go, whatever I do. I'm fine just to know that you're happy, even though I'm not the one who's making you happy. And honestly, straight from my heart, I don't think I want to get over you and I'm not gonna push myself into this. I don't want to let go the only thing I've got left. I don't wanna forget about the best person I've ever met, I don't wanna forget about all the great memories and the great time we had together. I don't wanna forget about the best time of my life.
No matter how hurt I am, I'd do everything with you again and again if I got the chance. If I had the chance to experience everything we had, I would, and I'd make up to you for all the bad things I've done. But I guess I'll never get the chance to do everything with you again cause you don't love me anymore, you don't want me in your life. It's alright tho, I've got all the memories and I'll keep playing them over and over again, like an addicting song, and I'll experience everything every single day, cause that's what I've been doing since it's been over.
I'm not over you, not at all to be honest. I miss you all the time, I wanna be with you every single second. I love you, I simply love you, well, simply... It's not that simple actually, once upon a time it was simple to love you, as simple as breathing, but nowadays it's just fucked up. Cause you're not mine.
When you were mine, my life was complete, I was complete and now that you're gone nothing works the way it should... Nothing is the way it used to, and you know me, you know how much I hate changes. Food tastes like shit, music doesn't sound the way it used to. Nothing seems to catch my attention, nothing seems to get into my head and make me stop thinking of you at least for a second. I react to everything and nothing, I walk but I feel like I can't feel my legs, I'm a cripple without you. I miss what we had, I miss you, I miss myself, I miss us.
You were the best thing about me, I know it sounds like a stupid cliche but that's exactly the way it was. You were the big part of me that was missing, and you made me feel complete but now that you're gone... What do I have left? Well, a broken heart and a river that I've filled up with my own tears.
Everybody keeps telling me to get over you, to stop thinking of you, to forget about your existence, and although I know they have a point, I can't. I can't stop loving you, not even for a second. You're in my thought wherever I go, whatever I do. I'm fine just to know that you're happy, even though I'm not the one who's making you happy. And honestly, straight from my heart, I don't think I want to get over you and I'm not gonna push myself into this. I don't want to let go the only thing I've got left. I don't wanna forget about the best person I've ever met, I don't wanna forget about all the great memories and the great time we had together. I don't wanna forget about the best time of my life.
No matter how hurt I am, I'd do everything with you again and again if I got the chance. If I had the chance to experience everything we had, I would, and I'd make up to you for all the bad things I've done. But I guess I'll never get the chance to do everything with you again cause you don't love me anymore, you don't want me in your life. It's alright tho, I've got all the memories and I'll keep playing them over and over again, like an addicting song, and I'll experience everything every single day, cause that's what I've been doing since it's been over.
onsdag 12 augusti 2009
tisdag 11 augusti 2009
If only I knew
If I knew that it would be this hard to get over you, how much I would miss you, how much this would hurt, I wouldn't have let myself fall in love with you.
söndag 9 augusti 2009
Renée au pays des merveilles
I came to the conclusion that oddly enough people are nicer in the morning. At least those I saw this morning while walking home from Johan. I don't know, maybe it was just me, maybe I was so tired that I even started seeing things, maybe it was the pain in my knee (that is now swollen as hell and hurting like a bitch. Stupid muscle injurie!), but I'm almost sure that at least three persons (out of those, maybe, 10 persons that I saw this morning) did actually smile at me when I walked by.
Today I have even realized that I can think of really weird things and even come up with smart things to say. Walking alone at 7 a.m. in the morning can be very interesting. Now, who would have thought of that, huh? Maybe I should start walking every morning. I never felt so grateful to be alive. I felt like I was high on happiness the whole time, and even though my knee was hurting I kinda didn't feel a thing untill I realized that I couldn't walk anymore and had to sit by the river and call my dad so he could pick me up. The sun was shining beautifully on the water and although it sounds like a silly thing, it was probably one of the most beautiful things I've seen lately.
I'm off to neverland now.
Today I have even realized that I can think of really weird things and even come up with smart things to say. Walking alone at 7 a.m. in the morning can be very interesting. Now, who would have thought of that, huh? Maybe I should start walking every morning. I never felt so grateful to be alive. I felt like I was high on happiness the whole time, and even though my knee was hurting I kinda didn't feel a thing untill I realized that I couldn't walk anymore and had to sit by the river and call my dad so he could pick me up. The sun was shining beautifully on the water and although it sounds like a silly thing, it was probably one of the most beautiful things I've seen lately.
I'm off to neverland now.
lördag 8 augusti 2009
Only life I know
My body is tired but my head is awake and refuses to let me go to bed.
I tried to sleep like three times tonight, it's 04:23 a.m. and my eyes are wide open and although my body tells me to go to sleep, my head tells me to stay awake. It might have something to do with all the coffee and hot chocolate I've been drinking today, maybe I should cut down on sugar and caffeine.
I tried to sleep like three times tonight, it's 04:23 a.m. and my eyes are wide open and although my body tells me to go to sleep, my head tells me to stay awake. It might have something to do with all the coffee and hot chocolate I've been drinking today, maybe I should cut down on sugar and caffeine.
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